A violent relationship of over a decade meant Gemma* was forced to leave her home with her two children and only a suitcase filled with belongings. After fleeing for her life she was left feeling suicidal and isolated but following Plymouth City Council’s referral to BCHA and their support, Gemma can now live life independently and safely.
“The relationship I fled was a very controlling one. I would need to ask permission to do anything on my own or with the children and given a strict timeframe. If I was even five minutes late, I would have my belongings stolen and be made to sleep on the sofa. This gradually escalated into violence. Every time I would be attacked, I would be told it would never happen again and stupidly believed him each time. At Christmas, my partner threatened to kill me. I was absolutely terrified and this was the final straw. I did not recognise my partner and knew my life was in danger.
“I tried to keep a sense of normalcy for my children after the incident at Christmas. I knew I had to leave but knew I needed to find a home. I was then threatened by my partner’s mother in front of my children and they were crying saying ‘Nanny stop it’. I packed my things and left for a hotel that was organised by Plymouth City Council. I was then offered support from BCHA’s Families Team which I was glad to accept.”
I’m now in my own flat with my children, I have a lovely garden and I am looking forward to the future. No one can take that away from me. If anyone is offered help from BCHA, I would 100% recommend them.
Gemma first started working with BCHA’s Rachel, Health & Wellbeing Co-Ordinator before the team realised she would benefit from having an additional Family Support Worker, Emma, to assist with more administrative tasks, such as paying bills and setting up direct debits.
Emma said “When I first met Gemma she was absolutely broken. She seemed like a total shell of a person. At first it was difficult to get Gemma to engage with us as she found it hard to trust people after her relationship. We worked with Gemma to get a referral to the Plymouth Domestic Abuse Service, and after this it was like a switch had flipped in her. She knew she had to engage with us to create a better life for her children.”
A big challenge the team and Gemma faced was finding an appropriate school for her children. Finding a school that was easy to get to with public transport as well as accessible for her neurodiverse eldest child was something that the team worked tirelessly to achieve to ensure Gemma felt supported.
Gemma said “I didn’t want to further disrupt my children's life until I had found housing and a school that was suitable. I didn’t want to move them from school to school until I was sure of the fit as I felt this would be detrimental to their learning and development especially for my eldest who is neurodiverse. Rachel was so helpful with securing a place at a school close to me that was beneficial to my child and could support their needs.
“I would not be where I am now in my life without the support from Rachel and Emma at BCHA. My mindset has had a complete turnaround since working with the Families team. When the team first met me, at times I felt suicidal and felt like giving up but with their help I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am interviewing to start my degree at my local university and want to be able to support those who have been in the same situation as me. I would not have had the confidence to do this without the Families Team.”
Gemma has also been referred to The Freedom Program by Rachel, a course that helps women spot the first signs of abuse before they escalate into control and violence. The course aims to empower women to break the cycle of domestic abuse by learning the attitudes and actions typically used by abusive men.
Gemma said "I’m now in my own flat with my children, I have a lovely garden, and I am looking forward to the future. No one can take that away from me. If anyone is offered help from BCHA, I would 100% recommend them."
Jordan, Senior Practitioner for the Families Team, said “Emma and Rachel's collaboration was so beneficial for Gemma, showcasing the positive impact of teamwork across different roles. By combining their expertise, they were able to offer a more holistic approach, addressing both family support and health and wellbeing needs. Emma and Rachel put in a lot of effort, and the positive response from the customer really highlights the value of their hard work.”
If you have been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this article, support is available. You can contact the Samaritans 24/7 on 116 123. Please reach out and know you are not alone. You can also contact the 24/7 National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
*Names have been changed.
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